Old to New Farmhouse Table

Hello

I just wanted to say hi! It has been 3 years now since my sweet boy went to become a Heavenly Warrior... on his day of his passing, I was having the hardest time I was so completely heartbroken and felt like I just couldn't keep going on like this, minute after minute hour after hour, day after day, week after week and year after year, it's just to much to bear! A dear friend offered to watch my little so that I could go to the temple, I accepted, but I really didn't know if my head was in the right place let alone my heart, I felt angry and sooooooo very heartbroken.  Then another dear friend said that she would like to come with me.  I didn't know how I felt about that, I didn't really feel like being around anyone. I woke up on this day, not thinking I could even get out of bed, let alone get ready, and I still wasn't sure if I was in the right state of mind to go to the temple. I thought about canceling but it was to much to cancel with two people, so I rolled out of bed and got in the shower...I was having a lot of anxiety, but I didn't want to cancel with two people so I went. It was beautiful I felt Bralyn's presence and I felt loved my my Father in Heaven.

My two friends got me flowers, they were beautiful! More then how pretty was how loved I felt!
When I got home there were flowers delivered by me sweet sister Kristina and Randy...wow! My cup runneth over!  Then a little while longer a friend came over with flowers and seven balloons 4 one color and three another color. She also let me know she was doing 7 acts of kindness in his name...since he is 7. I can tell you that the lord is mindful of us and that our loved ones do love us and are there for us! I felt loved and remembered...not sure if that is makes sense, but I felt so alone and forgotten...and then so loved!!!

 I have to be honest life happened and I didn't get this post finished on the 22nd of February, but even though it has been months...I can still feel the love from that day! Thank you my dear friends and family for being there for me! love you all!

Love you Bralyn!!! Miss you more then words can say!!!

To infinity and beyond

"In your very heat I beat"

 

Journaling has never been something that I am comfortable with, but I would like to start, I am going to start at least a sentence here and a sentence there.  Instead of always being afraid that I won't make sense, or flow right. So here I go...

Today is Memorial Day and I didn't go visit Bralyn, it was too painful. So I shoved my pain deep down so that I could be at least somewhat productive for my husband and my other kiddos. But I would like my boy to know that I miss him every second of every day and that I am thankful for him serving our family from heaven. I know that you didn't serve in an armed service on earth, but I know that you are in God's Army, and I am so very proud of you!!!

A little about today...
Cliff and Tynon mowed the lawn and cleaned the garage.  Mady joined them and they cleaned off and power washed the back patio.  Then Cliff took Tynon dirt bike riding down to the spill way, while Mady showered and put some clothes away.  I cleaned the dishes and family room and sweeped all the main areas. Then Cliff took Tynon swimming in out lake while I took Mady to get two of her friends.  Grace and Kaycee.  Cliff made dinner and then took Mady and her friends out to ride the dirt bikes.  Kaycee wrecked but she was fine, just a good scratch on her tri. She was so brave.  Cliff and I hung some pictures.

Yesterday, we finished up Mady's room, here is a couple of pics

She is loving it!!!!

Time moves on...

It's seem so cruel, to me, that time continues to keep moving on. It's been 6 months already without my Bralyn my baby, one of my reasons for living, and yet I have to keep going for my other kids. But every birthday, graduation, anniversary, and holidays that comes is so very bitter sweet.  Bralyn's birthday posters still decorate my walls, his toys are still in my purse, his car seat, now being used by his baby brother, is still in the same place in my van, his pictures are all over, but he's not visible.  His laugh, him zooming through the rooms, his hugs and kisses. There's an emptiness that can't be filled.  He was so full of life that he lifted everyone's spirits! But through all the pain and heartbreak I find myself so very grateful for the knowledge that families can be together for all eternity, and the promise that we will see him again.  Without it I wouldn't be able to find peace at all.  I love you Bralyn, I miss you  ever minute of everyday.  Your  brothers and sisters miss you terribly, your in our thoughts and in ours hearts. Love you Bro Bro!!!!

I'm starting a new blog, I've never been the best at blogging, but I would like to start it's name is bralynliveson@blogspot.com